When I run around the Sands of Menechtarun in DDO, my guild mates in A Tribe Called Zerg always hear me complain about mephits. They are my racial enemy. No, I’m not a Ranger, so I don’t benefit from this declaration in any gameplay way. This statement just avows my certainty and paranoia that mephits are out to get me. They are the Pigeons of the Planes. Every time one of those squawky little freaks farts up a dust cloud, I know I’m in trouble.
Of course, knowing that mephits are my racial enemy doesn’t stop me from calling bears my racial enemy, too. Come on, they’re bears. DOOOOOOM.
The other creature that I’m pretty sure is my racial enemy is the beholder. Beholders are a little bit different, though, because unlike bears and mephits, I love them as much as I hate them. I love that they shoot death rays – Bew! Bew! I hate that they kill me with those death rays.
Because of my love for beholders, I really want the mastery reward from the Monster Manual where you can earn a beholder companion. The problem is, I have to face a non-zero number of eye tyrants to score that prize. Like, 1600.
Are you kidding me?! 1600! That’s, like, more than 5 Spartas! That’s enough beholders to take out The Daleks, okay? Why, why is it such a huge enormous number?!? OMG, I am going to be murdered so much, this is obviously a plot to sell rez cakes. Why does DDO hate me? Why? WHY?!?
Ahem. Sorry, I got a little worked up thinking about the beholders.
Because I need to kill a lot of beholders, one of my most exciting loot pulls on my latest DDO reincarnation of Altonia was a great sword of Greater Aberration Bane. Yay! Something I can use to hack on eye stalks when I’m anti-magicked!
So I’ve been sneaking around VoN3. It’s a good place to kill beholders, am I right? The thing is, rather than run up to a beholder waving a great sword, I tend to favor doing this:
Yeah, I hide behind the giant frikking mushrooms way, waaaaay, over there where the beholders just can’t get me. You may notice Altonia wanders around with a wee bear companion. Odd for someone so fearful of bears. To know thine racial enemy, one must first break picnic baskets with thine racial enemy, don’cha know? Facing our fears makes us stronger! Or dead. But either way, it’s a problem solved!
So even with my shiny new Greater Aberration Bane, I didn’t do so much bane-ing as I did stealth-ing around the jungles of Khyber, dropping Walls of Fire like they’re hot.
Altonia’s a Fire Savant right now, so it’s like she brings her own torches! Great for sneaking around dark dungeons, less great for reading the newspaper. It’s a good thing Altonia is an adventurer and not an origami sculptor.
Only, lo and behold, there are Beholderling companions for sale in the DDO store this weekend! A frost Beholderling, even! I’m terribly torn now. (Not literally, because how would I write this blog?) Decisions, decisions, decisions. Buy or achieve?
I’m thinking I may do both. I have more than one account, so maybe I’ll purchase a companion on my main, and keep striving to win gold, glory and a be-stalked drinking companion through Altonia’s great deeds.
Or, you know, die trying.